you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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