Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
