Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
