Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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