There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
