Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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