I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there was a trapeze. enough said
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
