but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
