I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I smell stomach acid.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
