I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just pee around me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
