ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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