hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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