I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
