my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
