you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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