is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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