Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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