i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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