Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
