Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm sobbing to NWA
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
