i just had sex bonerless
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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