fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
