FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
