Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
