She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
