Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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