I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
