so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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