so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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