Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize