I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
