her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
