I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
