were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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