And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
