i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
