dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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