Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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