i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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