Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
