Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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