Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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