I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just puked most of my soul out..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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