the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Randomize
