Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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