I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
