I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
