remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
