ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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