do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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