Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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