Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I can't put those talents on a resume
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize
