Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
