I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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