Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
