Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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