I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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