Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
