i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
