Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
