Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
