My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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