I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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