So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
