He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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