All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
