Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
